Penitential celebration in front of a victim of abuse

In the Apostolic Palace’s Sala Regia, the pope and the participants of the meeting on ‘The protection of minors in the Church’ asked for forgiveness. Mgr Philip Naameh, archbishop of Tamale and president of the Catholic Bishop’s Conference of Ghana, delivered the homily. The young victim also played a prelude by Johan Sebastian Bach.

Vatican City (AsiaNews) – Pope Francis introduced the penitential celebration this afternoon in the Sala Regia at the Vatican. The service concluded the third day of the meeting on ‘The protection of minors in the Church’.

In his address, the pontiff called on the "God of mercy" to give us "the courage to tell the truth and the wisdom to recognise when we have sinned” as well as “fill us with sincere repentance and grant us forgiveness and peace".

Mgr Philip Naameh, archbishop of Tamale and president of the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of Ghana, delivered the homily during the liturgy, a commentary on the parable of the prodigal son.

Like what was said in previous days, with the clarion call to break the silence and do something about the abuses, the prelate noted: “His (the prodigal) son’s situation changes as he recognises himself, and admits to having made a mistake, confesses this to his father, speaks openly about it, and is ready to accept the consequences. In this way, the Father experiences great joy at the return of his prodigal son, and facilitates the brothers’ mutual acceptance.”

But the poignant moment of the celebration came when a victim of abuse (from Latin America) offered his testimony, which we publish here in full. After this, the same person played a Bach piece for violin, like a life that comes back from the abyss.

Abuse of any kind is the worst humiliation which an individual can experience. One is confronted with the fact of having to recognise that one cannot - and may not - defend oneself against the superior strength of the offender. You cannot escape what happens, but must endure it, no matter what or how bad it is. When experiencing abuse, one would like to end it all. But this is not possible. 

One wants to flee, and so it comes to pass that you are no longer yourself. One tries to flee, by effectively trying to flee oneself. Thus, with time, one becomes completely alone. You are alone, because you have retreated elsewhere, and you can’t/don’t want to return to yourself. The more often it happens, the less you return to yourself. You are someone else, and will always remain so. What you carry inside you is like a ghost, which others are unable to see. They will never fully see and know you. What hurts the most, is the certainty that nobody will understand you. That lives with you, for the rest of your life.

The attempts to return with the own true self and participate in the “previous” world, as it was before the abuse, are just as painful as the abuse itself. One always lives in these two worlds simultaneously. I wish that the perpetrators could understand that they create this split in the victim. For the rest of our lives.

The greater your desire and your efforts to reconcile these two worlds, the more painful the certainty that this is not possible. There is no dream without memories of what has occurred, no day without flashbacks.

I now manage to cope with this better, by learning to live with these two lives. I try to focus on the God-given right to be allowed to live. I can and should be here. This gives me courage. It's over now. I can now go on. I should continue. If I give up now or stand still, I will allow the injustice to interfere with my life. I can prevent this, by learning to control it, and by learning to speak about it. 

• vatican
• penitential
• sexual abuses
• minors
• transparency
• bishops’ responsibility
• meeting
• pope francis