'It's me, do not be afraid’: story of a vocation
“In a world where there is so much inclination to make money, find good jobs, become professionals, I suddenly realise that these material things do not bring me the kind of happiness that the soul within me desires.”
Mumbai (AsiaNews) – "It is I, do not be afraid", says Jesus in the Gospel of John. Such words guided the vocation of a young man ordained in the church of Our Lady of the Sea in Uttan. The story of his vocation follows, in his own words.
In a world where there is so much inclination to make money, find good jobs, become professionals, I suddenly realise that these material things do not bring me the kind of happiness that the soul within me desires. The call to priestly vocation began, when God gave me the gift of faith, at a very young age, through trials that made me discern my calling to the priesthood.
When I was in the 5th Std my dad passed away. Being very close to him, I felt a vacuum in my life. With no one to support us financially, my mother wanted me to drop out of school and help her. But I refused to do so. At that time my friends encouraged me to join the altar servers. I loved to serve mass regularly. The closer to the tabernacle, the more comfortable I felt. In fact, I began to realise that I felt happier and more peaceful in the church than at home.
At one such altar servers meeting, I felt this strange desire of meeting the priest in charge and sharing all my problems with him. After a session of counselling and guidance, the priest offered to let me stay in the parish. My joy knew no bounds because through Jesus and with Jesus my needs were being taken care of. I was in the company of priests, I served mass regularly and loved to observe their pastoral work and help them.
A very senior priest helped me discover my vocation. In his free time, I would always ask him about the priesthood and he would tell me, “it is not easy, but when God calls, He will take you through.” It was the lifestyle of this priest, his guidance and support that inspired me to be a priest. I just wanted to be a priest.
The participation in the Eucharist and personal prayer helped me go ahead with my decision. As I continued my education, I developed a liking for social work. Whenever there were difficulties, be it at home or at academics, and I felt dejected, the scripture verse of John 6:20, “It is I do not be afraid,” always gave me strength.
It is at this point of time that I realised, my heart was longing to be a social worker for Christ and I joined the seminary. Five years into seminary life, I found it difficult to pursue my vocation. I felt, I was not as good as my mates at academics and I thought I would never make it to the priesthood. I was beginning to lose confidence in myself.
To add to the existing difficulties, I lost my mother, my only strength and support after dad, to ovarian cancer. With no one to look after the family’s affairs, I almost decided to leave the seminary to look after my family. The spirit was willing to serve God and His people wholeheartedly but the flesh was weak to make a decision out of fear of the unknown.
Today when I look back at those days of indecisiveness, I am happy I listened to the voice of God which said, “It is I, do not be afraid.” Throughout my seminary training, I have noticed the hand of God holding me steadfast. It took great courage on my part to let God work in my life. I placed my hand in His hand and joyously walk today with unwavering faith.
As I prepare to shepherd the flock of Christ through my ministry, my words, my actions and my personal experience, I want to reach out to the broken families, especially the youth who need to be made strong in their faith and realise that Jesus is their pillar of strength. To reach out to them and reassure them in the words of Jesus in John 6:20, “It is I, do not be afraid.”
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